


If you go to the zoo today...

by hope91



Series: Gigolas zoo-verse AU [1]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Zoo, can telemachus ever have too many presents?, hot!Gimli, zookeeper!Legolas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:19:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1772143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope91/pseuds/hope91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gimli takes his young nephew (nephew-via-friendship) Eldarion to the zoo, and the whole day ends up being more fun than either would have expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elephants, elephants, who doesn't love elephants?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [telemachus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/telemachus/gifts).
  * Inspired by [If You Go Down to the Woods Today.....](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760333) by [telemachus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/telemachus/pseuds/telemachus). 



> This pales in comparison to telemachus' stories, and these characters aren't quite the modern versions of hers, but the gist is there hopefully.
> 
> (also, this was written as a surprise gift, so isn't intended as a complete modern translation of her sorts of stories...nor is it endorsed....and telemachus is completely one of a kind anyway so I could never replicate her work! So this is just inspired by hers....)

“Eldarion! Stay off the railing!” Hmm. Maybe I should’ve listened to Arwen and not let him eat just candy for lunch. He's been like a tornado ever since...so this is a sugar rush.  Won’t tell her about this though. She’ll just say I told you so. My little buddy won’t tell her either. Hopefully. Besides, I haven’t seen him for a month, what’s wrong with a little spoiling?

Not sure the penguins want this little guy in their exhibit anyway. Well, maybe they would. I ask them, just to make sure.  He's bringing out my silly side.

“Penguins, can my little buddy Eldarion hang out with you in there?”

Eldarion thinks it’s hilarious that I do that; I love his adorable little laugh.

This prim and proper mom beside me, not so much. Especially after he has me ask each and every single penguin if they want him to hang out beside them.  Let me tell you, I have no idea how to keep all these penguins straight.  Stop moving, penguins.  Yet somehow he knows if I haven't asked one or two yet?

I tell him I’m sorry, but they’re not answering me. Clearly they aren't saying a word to us.  He gets a bit disappointed. I guess if they don’t invite him in, he can’t go in there.  Manners and everything.  Sorry, little buddy.

Ah, shouldn’t have done that in the first place. Now at every single exhibit, I have to ask the animals if they want Eldarion to come in and visit. Each and every single animal. If he wasn’t so sweet, no way would I do it. Nah, maybe I would, this is his trip, he’s had a rough time adjusting to his new little sister.

Maybe Arwen's right, maybe I do spoil him too much. I’m a sucker for him though.  Definitely don't spoil him more than Grandpa Elrond does though.

Poor kid and his range of emotions, sad when there’s no answer, then suddenly ever-hopeful one of these creatures will say 'yes, little boy, please come inside and play with me.'  Man, I wish I could turn my emotions on and off like that.

Suddenly for an instant I worry a bit, a totally outrageous worry, try to remember if there are any animals here that can talk. No, impossible, right?  Should have paid more attention in biology and when I went to the zoo myself...animals, not really into them, but no way would I ask somebody, what a stupid question to have.  But, the wrath of Arwen if they did talk.  Well I'm pretty sure the dangerous ones can’t, so I’m good.  But I might stay away from the monkeys and parrots.  Monkeys might know sign language or something.

Lions don’t say they want him to come in the exhibit. Sorry, no go, little buddy.

Black bears don’t. Sorry, little buddy.

Meerkats don’t either. Though I get asked out by this good-looking single mom who thinks our little game is cute. I take her number.

Playground? Why is there a playground in the zoo? Well, guess it’s not a playground, more like a huge play structure. We play on it for a good 30 minutes, pirates then dinosaurs, it’s a fun time.

Miss playing with Eldarion, need to make sure I see him more.

Get a bit distracted by this guy who’s flirting with me on the rope climb. He’s hot. Obviously thinks I’m hot too, way he’s looking at me. Take his number, Eldarion’s getting impatient, obviously wants me to stop talking to this guy.

Never realized the zoo could be a place to meet people. Should definitely go more often, I think.

Thought the pirate-dinosaur-playground interlude would make Eldarion forget about asking the animals if he can go in their exhibits, but he doesn’t forget. Of course not.

Giraffes and zebras? No go.

Rhinos? Nope.

Elephants? Nope. Come on, little guy, let’s go ask the kangaroos, they might say yes. At least they hop and don’t just sit there.  Kind of boring just staring at these animals that just sit there. Stand there. Whatever.  Should I feel badly for them that they just sit there?

Nah.

Eldarion starts hopping like a kangaroo. That’s pretty cute.  Wonder if he'll hop all the way to the Outback part of this zoo.

“Hey, you’re not asking right.”

I turn around…..well, who is this. He’s not bad looking, tall, slender, nice long blond hair. Not bad looking at all. Gorgeous, I’d say. Looks like he works here.

“Oh?” And I raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah, definitely not.” He turns to Eldarion, asks him his name, and then asks him to come closer to the railing. “Here, ask them like this.”

I’m not sure exactly what they’re doing, mainly because this seems like a silly diversion, but fuck me, the elephant walks over.

Does this guy have food in his hand or something? What do elephants eat?  Grass?  Peanuts?  Leaves?  Watermelon?

Nope, no food that I can see.

“Come back later, little guy, 5 minutes before we close, I’ll let you ride one.” He’s kneeling down by Eldarion, and then looks at me. “If it’s ok with you, of course.”

I nod, of course. Let my buddy ride an elephant? How could I say no to that?

Wait, will Arwen get mad? I text her to ask. She’s fine with it after I tell her the details, as long as the zoo guy is there the entire time.

Uh, of course. Does she seriously see me riding an elephant? Never. Me, animals...we don't mix.

Looking at them safely behind their..bars? cages? enclosures?...whatever, I'm down with that.

No way I'll look nervous when we go in the elephant enclosure later, though. Just an elephant, Gimli.

Elephants, elephants, elephants the next couple of hours. Is it time yet? Is it time yet? Is it time yet?

I’ve never been so happy for closing time to roll around. Ever. If Eldarion asks me once more if it’s time yet…..

Luckily I like this kid. A lot.

But I do remind myself to never drive him anywhere that takes longer than 30 minutes to get to. I think the are-we-there-yets would drive me crazy.

Nah, it’d be worth it. Plus I could teach him some of my favorite songs.

Bet Arwen would love that.

Sure enough, Mr. Tall, Fair and Handsome is waiting for us by the elephant exhibit. He takes us around the back, through some gates. Before I know what happens, he’s up on one of them, seems like a bit of a baby one, how he got up there I cannot figure out, and another of these zoo people, a redhead, hands Eldarion up to him.

Oh. My. Fucking. Mahal. I’ve never seen a happier kid.

Dutiful uncle-by-friendship, meaning me, takes a million pictures for Mom. Because if Arwen was here, she’d take, what, 6 million photos of this?

Mr. Tall, Fair and Handsome hands my little buddy back to his redhead zoo friend, and jumps down.

“See?” He flashes this wide smile, damn he’s handsome. “That’s what happens if you know how to ask the animals.”

He walks us back out to the zoo entrance, since the zoo is closed now and he needs to let us out, Eldarion chattering the whole time, Mr. Tall, Fair and Handsome answering 6 million plus one questions about elephants.

Damn, wish the walk was longer.

I like this guy.

He shakes my hand; I give him my number.  Tell him my name and vice versa. Don't usually give out my number, people usually give me theirs.

Wonder if Legolas will contact me.  Greenleaf.  Name sounds familiar, can't place it.

Well, at least my little buddy is happy. Like over the moon happy.

Best day ever, he says.

Somehow, I kind of agree.

Though I have specific ideas about what would make it even better.


	2. On a first date...

I'm nervous to call that guy. Gimli. It's been two days. Legolas, if you don't call now, might as well not call at all.

Caradhil is giving me that look. Like if I don't do it, he'll do it for me. Ever since he and Adar got married, he's been doing stuff like that.  Which has been a long time.

Man, Caradhil, I can run my own life. Well...have to admit he tends to be right about things. And things do go better for me if I let him.

Caradhil's looking at me with that _I know better than you_ look.  Is that necessary? Of course he knows better. Doesn't mean I want to do what he thinks I should do.

"I'm too nervous, Caradhil.  Can't do it.  He probably gave me his number to be polite!  Or to call him if we have an event his kid will like."

Caradhil raises an eyebrow.  "That was his nephew, not his kid."  He studies me intently, then grabs my phone and dials.

I sort of want to stop him and sort of don't.

There's a deep-voiced "Hello?" when he answers. 

"Hi, Gimli?  It's Legolas.  From the zoo."

"Legolas, hi.  Was wondering if you'd call.  Glad you did."

Ok, good.  But now what?  Crap, my mind is blank.  I'm too nervous.  Should I hang up the phone and pretend the signal dropped?

Thank the Valar he says something.  Must be less nervous than me.  "Are you free Saturday?  Want to go out to dinner?"

Big inward sigh of relief.  "Sure." 

"What do you like?  Where do you want to go?"

Crap, what if I say the wrong place?  What does he like?  Crap.

"I'm easy to please.  Whatever you're up for, I am too."  Can he read my mind?  Or is it just obvious I'm nervous?

Crap.  I gesture frantically to Caradhil.  "Green Dragon," he whispers.

That sounds good to Gimli.  "Just don't pick me up on an elephant," he says.

Should I pick him up?

"I'm kidding," he says before I can say anything, not that I can figure out what to say anyway, and he laughs.  "Let's meet there at 7."

Caradhil's happy that it's over with, that he doesn't have to watch my semi-crisis anymore, like he has for the past two days. "Now get back to work, Greenleaf."

I sigh, a daydream sort of sigh. Then feel anxious again, I was the opposite of cool, calm and collected on the phone. What will he think about that?

Caradhil sighs, his _your father owns this zoo and I'm your stepdad so what can I do besides let you be happy but why are you worried again_ sigh.

Caradhil has to go back to work, though, he works his butt off as Director.  He married Adar, people think he could take it easy, but he doesn't want to. Works even harder to prove his success has nothing to do with Adar, not like he even has to, he's got nothing to prove, people know he's talented.

He and Adar are built to work. Me? Not quite as much, I'm not dedicated to my job 24/7. But at least I try. I think they appreciate that.

He tells me that Agnes, our oldest giraffe, seems a bit out of sorts today, is acting up, can I go check it out.

Definitely. That's the kind of work I'm cut out for, that's what I'm good at. 

 

 

Gimli's already there when I get to the restaurant.  Thank the Valar, that made me nervous too, a bit worried he might not show up, might think I'm the complete opposite of suave and cool after that conversation on the phone. 

"So fuck me," he says, "but you're Thranduil's son?  The business tycoon?"

Wasn't expecting that.  "Yes..."

"My uncle is Thorin Oakenshield. And my Dad is Gloin."  He smiles, as if that's enough.

Oh.  Wow.

"My Dad is ok with it, but Thorin didn't want me to come tonite."  He leans forward.  "Said you were bad news.  I told him he needs to stop holding grudges.  And get laid."

Oh.  Wow in a different way, this guy is pretty blunt.  Crude almost.  Not used to that.

He leans back, and suddenly it's like a different person is talking.  He waxes poetically about the zoo, his nephew, the elephant ride....

"Do you do that often?  Ride elephants?"

I shrug.  "Nah, Caradhil gets mad."

"Caradhil, that zookeeper that was there with you?"

"Yeah, he's actually the zoo director.  Married to my dad."

"Interesting.  How did that come about?"

I tell him about how they started dating a few years after my mom passed away when I was little.  How it made Adar much, much happier. I don't remember my mom, not in a first-person way, but I do remember how shut off and lonely Adar was, and how mean my brothers were to me. Everything got better when Caradhil came along.

Then he tells me stories about Thorin. 

Gimli keeps talking. He definitely has a nice voice, nice mouth, nice everything. Like the most handsome guy I've ever seen. "Uncle Thorin's been less crabby since he married Bilbo, though.  Frodo says his irritability directly correlates with how often he gets laid. Poor guy, still living at home, apparently they're pretty loud when they have sex, but they don't realize it. Mortifying. Is there anything worse than hearing your parents, adopted or not, having sex?"

Uh, I don't think so.  Although having this conversation feels pretty mortifying.  I think he can tell.

"You're gorgeous when you blush,"  he says, and I just blush some more.

"And," he adds, "Any guy that takes a sweet little kid for an elephant ride is good in my books. Though still not sure if it was a safe thing to do."

He has to repeat that, because I'm just staring at him. He's too good-looking for words.

Is there such a thing as a soulmate? If there is, I wonder if he might be mine.


	3. Elephants, everyone still loves elephants...

After dinner, I take Legolas back to my place. Ever since that blush, all I can think about is fucking him, long and hard.

Well, that's not quite true.  Ever since I saw him jump down from that elephant, I've wondered what it would be like to be buried deep in him.

Fuck me, he's good-looking. And so nervous, it's adorable.  It was adorable on the phone, and even more adorable in person.

Funny how he's so confident riding the elephant but so nervous on a date.

Wonder how nervous he'd be when I ride him.

I show him around my place.  He's interested in my workshop, wants to know all about my projects.  Seems pretty sincere about it. 

I kiss him by my tool bench.  Fuck, his mouth is sweet. Just like the rest of him.  He's even nicer to kiss than he is to look at. I'm not able to resist this guy.  I want him now, maybe on the tool bench?

I start to go further, working my hands down his sweet, gorgeous body, and he pulls back.  Tells me he's a virgin.

No fucking way. When do you ever meet a virgin nowadays?

Wants to stay a virgin until he gets married.

Somehow I find that hot. Fuck, it makes me want him more.  Hmmm, I'd like to be his first. And last.

Still want to have him somehow, maybe just make him come?  Nope, no go, his line is anything at all, no hands on his cock, no mouth there either.

But kissing him is still nice.

 

 

We become inseparable. Uncle Thorin is pissed. I think Thranduil is pissed too.

I don't fucking care. Neither does he. Disown me, if you want, not giving Legolas up.

Besides, my parents are ok with it, even though my Adad has no love for Thranduil either.

This celibacy thing, though? It's driving me crazy. I want him so badly. I tell him everything I want to do to him one night on the phone.

Is phone sex ok? He's too embarrassed to try it though.

We mainly stick to kissing. I do get him naked once, though.

But decide I can't be around him naked, that's not good for this celibacy thing.

 

 

A few months later, take Eldarion back to the zoo. We've been a few times, more than a few, after all, if your boyfriend can grant your little nephew an all-access pass, who wouldn't go as much as possible?

Except this time, Caradhil's helped me prepare a special surprise.  Oh, I'm sure Thranduil will be pissed when he finds out, if he doesn't know already.

But Caradhil's his own person, I admire that.  He's as much of a leader as Thranduil is.  Definitely not just eye-candy, that's for sure.

Not many people could put up with Thranduil, I've come to see.  Or Thorin, for that matter.

Or even, and I hate to say it, my dear sweet Legolas.  Not like he's lazy, he tries hard....but he's so flighty sometimes.  And anxious.

Somehow I love him even more for it.

So the elephant is ready, I'm ready, Eldarion is ready.  Just need Legolas.

Where is Legolas?

No one can find Legolas.

Is he swimming with the seals?  Hope not, knowing half of me is joking when I say that, and half of me worries a bit that he might be.  Designing some new enclosure for the tigers, since he thinks they don't have enough room?  Could be.

Just when we've given up on trying to find him, my little buddy can't wait much longer after all, he's too small, my Tall, Fair and Handsome love finally appears. 

Looks excited to see Eldarion.  And greets me with a kiss.

"Want to go for a ride?"  Legolas smiles, his beautiful sweet smile that makes my heart ache in that good way.

And they climb up onto the elephant.

The elephant walks over to his (her?) play area, the branch thing with the ball hanging from the tree.

"No" Legolas says to the elephant, "This way."

Elephant won't listen, Legolas is getting a bit frustrated, but he's more puzzled than frustrated I think. Elephant goes over to that play thing, finds the box Caradhil hid there.

Well done, elephant.

Elephant hands (well, trunks? is that what you call it if it passes a small box with its trunk?) trunks the box to Eldarion's eager little hands.

Little guy is so excited, he forgets what he's supposed to say.

Oh well, this is cute too.

"Here, Legolas. Get married, like Mommy and Daddy."

Eldarion is so proud.

Legolas is speechless, he wasn't expecting this at all.

Just as I hoped.

I get down on one knee, tell him all of the reasons I love him.  Fuck me, Caradhil actually looks a bit teary.

But what the fuck?  Legolas has gone from speechless and shocked, to happier than I've ever seen, to pissed.  Absolutely pissed.

He pulls me aside.  "You're just doing this to have sex with me.  You wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for that."

What the fuck?  And I say that, which just makes it worse.

My mom warned me this might happen.  So did Arwen.  Talk to him first, don't take him by surprise, he's too anxious.

Fuck, I'm a doer, not a talker.

But I'm more of a talker than he is right now, it seems.

So I try. "Fuck, Legolas," and he still startles a bit when I swear, though he's used to it, "We could take sex off the table completely and I would still want to marry you. I love you." Though I need to be honest. "Though I would prefer sex as opposed to no sex. By a lot. Like no comparison." And that last part probably sounds grumbly. 

He still needs convincing, not sure he quite believes that.

"Legolas, trust me, I don't like the no-sex thing.  If I didn't love you, I would have broken up with you after the first week."  Definitely true, and he knows me well enough, knows I got around a lot before him, to understand that is true.  "And I'm only getting married once.  If you say yes.  If you say no, I'm just going to keep hounding you until you say yes. You're the One."

This, he seems to believe.

Thank Mahal he says yes.  Shit, what would I do if he said no?  I think I'd be lost.  Forever.

And I may not always be eloquent, but at least he believes me.

"Sorry, Gimli, it's just..." 

I silence him with a kiss, I don't need an apology.

Eldarion is happy, Caradhil is happy.....Thorin and Thranduil, not so happy.....Bilbo and Frodo are happy, my parents are happy, Aragorn and Arwen are happy.

Though none of it matters, I suppose, as long as we're happy.

 

 

The next night, we go back to the zoo, after it's closed, in the evening.  He wants me to propose to him again, so he can say yes properly.  I think it's a bit silly, but when I do it, it doesn't feel so silly.

But fuck no, I'm not getting up on that elephant.

I will repeat my well-practiced speech, though.

For a second, he looks like he's debating, then he laughs, throws himself into my arms, kisses me thoroughly.

"Is that a yes?" I ask, laughing a bit.

He punches me in the arm, playfully, and then kisses me again.

This kiss quickly gets deeper, more passionate....pretty soon all I can think about is how I can't wait to get married, and what I'm going to do to him on our wedding night. 

He can tell, and with all seriousness, tells me "Let's get married now."

Now? Like in fly to Vegas?

"No," he says, sort of breathlessly almost, "let's say vows, and then..." he starts to stroke me through my jeans.

"Here? By the elephants?"  This guy I love, he is a bit unpredictable.

Though it kind of excites me.  Public place, but little chance of being caught, solemn wedding vows just for us...maybe this is how it should be.

We say our vows, swearing to one another for the rest of our lives and beyond, and then he literally jumps me.

"Not here, what if the elephant tramples me?" Sometimes, I think my sweet Legolas doesn't think.

So we go to the botanical garden, it feels romantic, he loves flowers...plus no way am I going to make it home, I want him too badly.

"Are you sure?' I need to ask, this doesn't feel like the best setting for his first time, but he'll have nothing of it.

He kisses me again, and we're both breathless.  "I bet you'll want to have me more than once.  Including by the elephants."

Yes to the first, no to the second.

I end up being wrong.  Yes to both.


End file.
